“Lyrics should not contain admirations on war, sex, violence, murder, rape, non-Governmental society, imperialism, colonialism, racism, anti-DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) and anti-socialism.” (Guardian)

North Korean officials in Pyongyang outline a few restrictions for Western bands interested in performing at their Woodstock rock festival’ style event planned for next year.

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“What harm is their in a quick background check? The world has changed and this sort of thing is pretty normal for the way people date now.” (Observer)

New York private detective agency vice-president Ed Peterson reveals that 38% of his company Intellius’ business is clients checking prospective dating partners.

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“As far as attraction goes, here’s how we get the message: 55 per cent is through body language; 38% is through the tone and speed of our voice. Only 7% is through what we say.” (Glamour)

Glamour magazine decontructs the mechanics of attraction.

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“Some of the ‘superstar’ DJs like Digweed are just so lovely, so down to Earth. But there are hundreds of wankers, there’s different kinds of wankers. The awful nouveau riche superstar ones, but also the sceney ones who are so closed minded and dumb and unaware how stupid they look.” (Mixmag)

James Holden widens his assault on almost all his DJ peers.

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“With very few elements, almost no flashy programming and little in the way of structure, it delivers an uncompromising peak time thrill. The biggest moment may be the 3 second silence in the middle of the track.” (Press release)

Publicists for Offermann’s new single Arabian Pleasures, promise his debut single is ‘a lesson in minimalism’.

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“Ronson is as hip as it gets. That’s his rate and Tom was happy to pay. He wanted the night to be extra special.” (News Of The World)

An unnamed ‘insider’ reveals that Mark Ronson was paid £40,000 (€65,000) for spinning a 1 hour DJ set at Tom Cruise’s wedding after-party.

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“Body fat is the enemy of the metrosexual. A sleek, slender silhouette is required for proper effect.” (Toronto Star)

For ‘genuine devotees of the metrosexual pursuit’, size does matter, says the Toronto Star.

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“I can eat every day like it’s a holiday, but I’m gonna’ make sure to go easy this season. Wish me luck, because I know there’s gonna be tons of pasta and pastries tempting me for the next six weeks.” (Village Voice)

Danny Tenaglia reveals Thanksgiving is his favourite US holiday.

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“Scruples come with a bank balance sometimes. When the bailiffs come round you can’t go, ‘I’ve had some critically acclaimed underground electronic albums, don’t you know?” (DJ Magazine)

Andrew Weatherall admits he agonises over selling out.

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“This is strange time to be New Order. It was good a couple of years ago when everyone was saying we were ‘Godlike Geniuses’ and the fans recognised the band. There are a lot of New Orders around and we’re the old guys of the neighbourhood, so we should stop for a while and let them take our place.” (Pagina)

New Order drummer Stephen Norris says the legendary band are taking an extended break.rn